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First of all, let me point out that I know the difference between chemical dependency and addiction. However ‘addiction’ as an idea has been watered down by turning everyidiot’s hobby into a damn addiction.

Dear EmotionalHypocondriac,

You are not addicted to squat. The first step to ‘getting better’ is to admit that you don’t actually have some kind of fake addiction. Heroin users can become addicted,  Playing games all the time on your computer is not an addiction, you just have no will power or desire to live a shitty life. Welcome to the real world.

Also, compulsive gamblers, you are mathematically challenged. That’s not an addiction, it’s just stupidity. There’s no 12 step program for stupidity (it’d be overrun in a second).

Watching porn, also not an addiction — even if you do it a lot, and in preference to being with someone (who, here’s an idea, doesn’t actually do it for you), it doesn’t make it a damn addiction. Somehow watching fucking sports for the same length of time, and with the same preference to spending your time with your arsecheeks blending in with the couch isn’t an addiction, but if it was porn, it would be.

Sex addiction? Give me a fucking break. Wanting to have sex more than your partner does is not a fucking addiction — is he selling your tivo to pay someone to fuck him? Is he selling himself to get more action? Or did he just cheat on you and it was easier to say sex addiction? Does he just want sex more than the once or twice a month you do?

Calling it an addiction in order to validate these people’s desire to feel special for having a shitty life is just cheapening those experiences of people and families where they have to deal with a REAL ADDICTION. People who have to hunt out their mother’s stash of hooch from hiding places in the house, people who have their sister turning into a pale shaking shadow of themselves over heroin, the person who just quietly vanishes into the street in search of the fix … these are addicts and families of addicts.

Just when I think it can’t get more fucked, then some dickwad decides that writing a book about how crappy his life was as, of all fucking things, a World of Warcraft ‘addict’…

Stop calling poor life choices and no will power a fucking addiction. ‘Food addiction’ — no, you just like to fucking eat a lot more than most do.

But hey, calling it an addiction lets you get one step closer to having pills, which will put a nice big bandaid over the real issue which is usually pretty close to YOU HATE YOUR LIFE. Big fat deal, lots of people hate their lives and they don’t drum up a fake addiction for sympathy and a book deal.

and another pretty to stop the stabby feelings.