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…who is trying desperately to be an inside cat, I’m assuming she’s female, because well, all cats are female until proven male.
I thought my cat had a shrill voice and talked a lot, but this one is so high pitched I can hear her mewing from outside the townhouse complex.
She doesn’t miaow like my cat, she mews. It’s actually almost like she’s saying MEW in a little girl’s voice.
She’s a bit fatarse long haired grey cat, and she’s now happy to just waltz inside if I open the door (or she walks in the back sliding door), and my cat has retreated to the top floor in protest. I guess she’s smaller than the grey fatarse, so it’s understandable. They also fight through the glass of the window next to the front door. I’m not sure what either of them think they’re going to achieve but it entertains them.
I’ll take a photo of her next time she comes looking for food during the day, so you can see her in her glory. She’s quite a beautiful creature, but she’s got a bit of a temper for an outside cat. I tried to encourage her to go back outside by walking out with the food, and she hisses at me.
I pour some food in her outside-cat-dish, and she took a swipe at my leg. I guess I didn’t get whatever message she had… I do feel sorry for her though, but my cat comes first, and the house is her territory so I can’t let her inside and pet her too much.
... and the letter m 
Oooh, that’s tough. I don’t suppose you have any friends who are looking to adopt an indoor cat…
There are protocols for introducing a new cat into the home — usually they involve confining the new cat to a small room at first (so, your cat wouldn’t have to retreat to the top floor if the new cat was shut in the bathroom, or whatever) and slowly increasing the amount of contact the two cats have.
I think those rules only work when you actually choose to get another cat (which is why I haven’t). I’m not sure what the rules are when the cat invades … I mean, chooses you.
Tell you what though, cats like each other a heck of a lot more than bunnies like each other… Introducing them to each other needs hockey goal keeper type padding… (and then plan 2, which involves giving the second bunny to someone else), They’re adorably homicidal.
eesh, that’s a hard one — it’s like she’s just moved in whether you like it or not! When I let the stray cat boyfriend into the apartment, he wanted to leave IMMEDIATELY when Chuckweasel told him the “no gonads” rule… don’t know if that’ll work with a girl, though!
I think the only thing I can do is move, clearly.
Nothing I can do can change a cat’s mind… The only reason my cat listens to me at all is because I’m her person and she’s been with me since she was weaned too young.
Other cats? No chance…
This is how I ended up with Ophelia, aka Satan Incarnate.
Good luck!